In 6 months....

I'll be 21.

So that makes today my half birthday. And I'm freaking out. Now when I turned 20, it was a big deal. It was the end of the 'teen' years.... thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, nineteen. Twenty.

When someone asks me, "How old are you Dana?" I have to think about it. I think my mind is forming a mental block. I can not wrap my head around the fact that my age is increasing; its a foreign idea.

Now... When I was 10, I had plans for my life. Big plans.

"At 21, I will almost be done with college." Not even close. Maybe 2 more years. :S

"At 21, I will know for sure what I want to do with my life." Nope, I'm still in this abyss. I have an idea, just not for sure.

"At 21, I might have someone in mind to share my life with." Ha! As if. Give me another 5-7 years.

"At 21, I will have seen the family I haven't seen since I was 3." Nope, I haven't.

"At 21, I will get to vote." Perhaps the only thing I'm looking forward to.

"At 21, I will have more freedom from my parents." Man, I was naive at 10.

"At 21, I will get a horizontal driver's license." Eh, big deal.

--You get the general idea.

I don't dread reaching 21. I don't dread growing older. I certainly do not want to repeat my last years. There is nothing I can or want to change. I learned a lot. And, I look forward to the future- since it is in my control.

But, I just wish getting older came with a warning label like prespcription drugs- "May cause stress, dizziness, uncertainity."