On Dec. 25 my grandmother was admitted into a Missouri hospital because of pain in her abdomen. Three days later she was diagnosed with Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma (NHL).
"Non-Hodgkin's lymphoma is cancer that originates in your lymphatic system, the disease-fighting network spread throughout your body. In non-Hodgkin's lymphoma, tumors develop from lymphocytes — a type of white blood cell," (Mayo Clinic).
The normal treatment for this type of cancer is chemotherapy. However in my grandmother's case, the cancer has spread to multiple body organs, such as her liver. Her body will not have the strength for chemotherapy. Doctors say that she has 4-6 months to live. She is returning to NJ and will stay by my family during her last few weeks.
Since diagnosis two weeks ago, my mother has been by her side in Missouri. I took care of the household duties. I was able to talk to my grandmother at ease on the phone. And if I kept myself busy, I wouldn't think about the situation. There were times when I was alone, and I cried a good deal.
However, tonight I was cleaning/preparing the room that my grandmother will stay in. I cleaned all the surfaces- tables, chairs, floors. I setup the bed for her. I put the drawer in its place so that she can keep her clothes and other belongings. I arranged chairs as my mother instructed me to. Eventually,I finished and gave it a final inspection; I was quite proud of myself.
But, standing in the middle of the room, I realized that I just prepared the room where my grandmother will pass away. I set up the chairs where my family and our friends will say our last good byes. I set up my dear Tayta's deathbed.
The reality of the situation hit me like an 18 wheeler truck flattens a tiny ant. I collapsed sobbing. I still cry. I pray and hope to Allah that the next several weeks will be beautiful, struggle- free and happy in spite of the inevitable devastating loss.
~ May Allah give me t he strength to stay strong for me and my family...
~ May He give me the courage to look into my grandmothers eyes and laugh...
~ May Allah give me the strength to make my family laugh and fill their hearts with happiness when they need it the most...
~ May my beautiful grandmother not suffer in pain for long and make passing from this life as easy & marvelous as possible... InshAllah.
Amin.*
6 comments:
Oh my god, May god have mercy on her and heal her ya rab.
I hope that you and your family hang in there for her, and make every day, a wonderful day for her, and may she live long and continue to be happy with all of you
Stand strong and help your mother. She's going to need you so much, more than anytime
May god have mercy on all your family
Amin
:( dandoonti...
Theres nothing more for me to say but admit, that it is devistating and tough. Loss is the greatest of all our fears. You know well how to deal with this and we've talked a lot about it. Make the best of it! pictures, videos, prayers, and lots of loving. And just accept because you're a believer. I love you, i'll be here when you need me.
I believe in miracles,after everythig that God has done for me and my family,it is so amazing,I'm going to write a book about it.
I am a Christian and I only tell the truth.I became one around 9-11.
And I am learning the true meaning of being a Christian.And I am also learning to trust God 100%,so that is my advise to you.
And may I say your grandma needs you now,and it's wonerful that you are going to be able to help her.I was not there for my granpa,at his time of need,I was too selfish.
May you have the strength to carry this out,my dear.
I'm sorry for the typo,I meant to say grandpa,or afi,as we called him.
Why don't you write about your grandma,you were so blessed to have one.
My mom's mom died when she was born,and I did not know my dad's mom very well.I'm sure you've got lots of memories stored away,let us hear them,please,and it will help ease your burden and give you strength.
Qwaider: Thank you so much. You are very kind.
Anon: indeed, Amin.
Batoul: You're my go to girl. Thank you habibti, love you kteer.
Crystalbelle: Thank you so much. I'd like to read that book. Those are really good suggestions. As soon as I find a chance, I will dedicate some posts to her. Again, thanks. It means a lot.
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